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The road so far

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I remember seeing a meme years and years ago where you draw yourself as a teen and then draw yourself as you currently look, and I realised it probably was about time that I drew one of myself...

I'm turning 21 in a week or so, and i suppose it's finally hit me that my teenage years are over. The whirlwind of confusion stemming from a wider range of emotions, experiencing and learning new things, along with new responsibilities, and greater freedom, understanding myself, and in turn understanding others, and seeing things from new perspectives.

Looking back it seems like time has simply sprouted wings and flown its own course, leaving me to grab and hold on as tight as I possibly could and not let go. Meeting a ton of new people, gaining new friends, learning new skills I never thought I would learn, finding my self-esteem, finding my passion for certain crafts and, to my delight, my natural skill in them, seeing myself learn from old mistakes and improving in so many different fields, learning to understand myself, and working my way up the emotional ladder till I became someone I could respect and love to be.

I've had my dark periods, times where I wondered if all this was worth the trouble, times when I hated everything and everyone and couldn't bear to look anyone in the face without wanting to rip their eyes out, times when I was surprised I would ever fall so low. I still have some moments like that. Moments when I want noone to talk to me for their own sake. Sometimes I wonder if anyone even noticed the extra heat behind my stares, but that's a whole other train of thought to the one I'm currently trying to, figuratively, get down on paper.

It has been one long, hard, and bumpy ride I sure as hell never expected I would need to go through when I was younger, but finally seem to somewhat understand why were neccessary. There is still a long road ahead, a road that will only end when it's time for me to bow out, but I hold pride in what I have achieved, and who I am now, though there are still some things I feel I lack. There will most likely always be something missing, or something I feel I need to improve or fix about myself, but I find that that is completely fine. I have come to terms with most of it, so I think it's about time I close the chapters of my teenage years, and focus on the present.
It is the "now" that really matters after all. What can be done, what should be done, and what I will do, to make things better for the present me in the future.

The future is a suggestion, something to look forward to, something that you can change, but never see clearly. Even so, I feel it is best to walk forwards with your head held high, with pride in oneself and humility towards others, find the small things that brings a smile to your face and makes life worth living, and take things as they come with an open mind and an open heart.

And that is exactly what I intend to do.


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TheEscapeFromMyself's avatar
More like another year of awesome on the cake that is awesomeness itself (That means you)
You manage to do whatever the hell makes you happy, no matter what. I still don't understand how you manage, but I've always admired your passion for the moment, your unending joy for what currently makes you happy.
And by the way, that Finnish blueberry tea was still amazing.

Go get 'em.